Though I try to forget, I still remember what it was like before I could admit I was an alcoholic. The whole time that I was in high school my friends and family would drink. Occasionally they would offer me a beer or some other type of alcohol, but I would always refuse them. The fact that I was able to see how everyone around me acted when they drank helped me say no. I’m not going to lie though; I did sneak a few sips when nobody was around.
To be honest, I thought that beer tasted horrible and smelt bad too. So I had went through high school without ever drinking more than a few sips of beer, and for that I was proud of myself. Unfortunately, on the night of graduation I celebrated my accomplishments with multiple beers and a few other alcoholic drinks. Maybe it was the fact that they were celebratory beers or perhaps the fact that I was in such a good mood and the beer helped me have a better time, I’m not sure, but that night was the night that I truly got a taste for alcohol. Shortly after, I found myself drinking with my family every time they would have alcohol around and having a few beers with my friends when I would see them. I would drink a few drinks a week, and I did not see anything wrong with this, the problem was when I started drinking a few cases of beer every week.
Not once did I ever think if I was going to be one of those people that I heard of having to go through one of those drug rehab centers in Florida. I don’t know how it happened, it was truly a gradual thing, it kind of crept up on me when I wasn’t looking. The stresses of life after high school we piling up on me and at time I felt like I could barley breathe. Every time I felt this way I would grab something to drink, always something alcoholic, and I would drink until I felt relaxed and comfortable. After I would drink though, I would feel guilty. Not guilty that I had drank alcohol, but I would feel guilty that I felt like I had to drink alcohol. It was like I couldn’t deal with the stresses of life like a normal person, I was depending on alcohol.
It didn’t help that my friends and family would tell me how much more fun I was when I would drink. I liked how the alcohol made me feel and I liked that they though I was more fun. What I did not like, and what scared me the most, is that I would literally have urges to drink. I had never felt that way about anything in my entire life, but now I had to have alcohol to feel normal, without it I would feel like I was suffocating and depressed. I never would’ve thought that I could be someone who relied so much on a liquid just to make it through the day. I’m not saying it was easy for me when I quit drinking, and to be completely honest, I still have trouble concentrating when I am around someone drinking.
Even after going through one of the rehab centers in Florida I realized something very startling. There will always be a part of me that will miss the alcohol, but there came a point in my life where I had to make the decision of whether I was going to live my life or let the alcohol live it for me. I decided that I wanted complete control of my life and the only way to get that control back was to get rid of the alcohol.
Contributed by: Anonymous